sing along

 We have a 3.5 hour drive tomorrow for a track meet. It's one where Hali gets to run Steeplechase. She's 9th in the state for her division...after stopping early last year and then continuing back with one final lap. I'm hoping for even better for her this year. 

The great thing is...I'm actually getting some OLD cd's uploaded to my computer and might be able to have them to listen to in the car tomorrow!

Barenaked Ladies (Stunt, Maroon, Greatest Hits, Everything to Everyone)

Simon & Garfunkel in Central Park

Billy Joel's Greatest Hits

and...stories by Donald Davis. 

Can't wait for the drive!!

teen spirit

 Ready for 🤣😂🤣?

This is a follow-up on the previous post.

This morning's messages (summarized and corrected for spelling and grammar)

H: Can I go out with Maddy after (my counseling appointment with) Enisa?

me: Is your paper finished? As in, you could turn it in right now?

H: Yes. 

me: Great! Please will you share it so I can read it?

H: Right now?

me: When you can. I can't make a decision about going out until I read it. 

(time passes)

H: Never mind. I decided to stay home and work on my paper. 

🤣😂🤣

affirmation

I was talking to another mom during Pix's chorus/dance class yesterday. And, I was sharing that I had told H she couldn't go out for frozen yogurt with a friend that night because 1. she hadn't been feeling well 2. she has a MASSIVE paper due in 3. a class that she has a C in because she turned in her first draft late. 

And, this mom who seems to have a very similar teen said, "Wow. You're a good mom. I wouldn't want to deal with the fallout." 

So, yay, me! Fallout everywhere around here. 

(I have also learned to ignore the muttered insults as she walks away and pretends "I'm just talking to myself." LOLOL!!!)

I did suggest so many other times they could go get frozen yogurt--Friday, Saturday, Sunday, next week when it's interim and she has no homework...

The urgent need for fro yo was ostensibly because "I will only see her for two more weeks!" because of their senior projects...except...they're both on the track team and will see each other in practice every day. 

possible...

 This is Dasha. She is almost ten. (It's the only photo we have of her.)

We have heard she has very positive relationships with caregivers and peers. "She is shy and timid and never caused trouble." She's in second grade in Germany. I am VERY MUCH hoping we can homeschool, at least to start.

And, this is her sister, Tanya. Tanya will not be with us, as far as we know. She is twenty, a skilled barista, and planned to open a flower shop in Germany. We hope to keep in close contact with her.

Feb. 20, 2024 was HUGE

Carrie and I were talking about JOH. We'd been looking for new students, and hadn't found a good fit. Carrie said she thought next year would be really busy for both Maya and Hali, and I'd be needed at home for them. So, I could continue full time but just with M&H. 

I agreed and said that if a student just fell into our laps, we should move forward. But, otherwise a year "off" would be amazing. 

And, I was giddy at the thought of JUST PIX AND I in the home for a year. Lots of travel to support M&H, but just us at home. 

That was Sunday. 

Yesterday, Tuesday, our contact from Father's House called Carrie and asked about us taking a nine-year-old girl (Dasha). Her older sister (20) has custody, making it easier for us to get her here, but doesn't parent her. 

Carrie isn't really a "Wow--God did that." person. But, maybe she will be before we're through. She's just a "that's incredible timing" person right now. ;) But these things keep happening with JOH...

It's all still just in the realm of possible. But...I feel hopeful. It will be a little bittersweet, because I don't think Xin will ever come home, but we do have a LOT of what is needed for a nine-year-old. Nine!! Exciting. I'm a little sad to not have my year alone with Pix, but excited to have someone young enough to play dollies and still be a little girl for a while before the teen years hit. 

Also yesterday we got new carpet installed from our flood. We're putting the house back together and moving furniture around. 

ALSO yesterday Hali was awarded a full tuition scholarship to Taylor University. It's her top pick even though she can't run there. So, she's really excited. It was a week (and two days) after our family was prayed for in church. (It was just our turn.) I had asked that God would make the girls' paths straight and clear. Full tuition seems pretty straight and clear.

Also yesterday...Maya applied for a flight attendant opening and started making plans for the following year. 

And, also yesterday Pix got information about a weekend at camp AND the Missouri Miss Amazing "pageant".

It was a busy day.

February!

 I cannot remember ever being so glad that February has arrived. But, YAY for February 2024.

This will be a telling month for us, I think. 

Pix wants to give a valentine to Nick, her friend at dance/chorus. I said yesterday, gently teasing, to Hali in front of Pix, "I think Pix might have a little crush on Nick." 

Her reply was all smiles and dimples and downcast eyes, "No! Well...maybe." I want to connect with his mom to give her a heads up, but she didn't bring Nick last week, the week before we had an ice storm, and the week before THAT Nick was sick. 

Hali has a discussion panel and an interview for a full-tuition scholarship to Taylor. I don't think she will get it. But, if she did...it would be amazing. And, that would make her college decision easy and final. (She visited Trinity again and still likes it. She ran with the track team. And, she thinks she really wants to be on a team in college. Lo and behold...Taylor's track coach messaged her the day she got back from Trinity to check in and see when she was coming for a visit.)

So, it is with great anticipation that we welcome 2-24.

eta: photo of Valentine for Nick, who was Cookie Monster for Halloween: 

kittens for YOU

 Do you see this sweet baby? He's like a coloring book kitten. He is GORGEOUS. And he might is the friendliest kitten I've ever met. Since he could walk he would be the first one wobbling to the door to greet you and be picked up. We call him the Mayor of Kittenville. He loves to be held. He loves to play. He's perfect. (He's Hali and Maya's favorite.) He spends hours sitting on my lap as I teach. 

If you can give him a home, I will pay the adoption fee and drive him to you. 

Maxie, the Mayor of Kittenville.

We also have two old-soul kittens who would do best in a home together. These two are less confident, but no less loving. They snuggle up with me each night. They are playful and gentle. Again, I'm happy to provide fees and transport if you can take them both. (It will break my heart a little to see them go.) 

This is Umi, who was our syringe-fed kitten.

(That's Dash, who needs a new name, snuggled with Max. He was so fast as a tiny kitten and the first one to dash around the room and up the cat trees. Now, he's the most cautious of the kittens.)

123123

 Happy New Year! 

It's hard to keep this blog going because the girls are so much older. There aren't as many cute stories to share. And, honestly, there isn't a lot of me that doesn't involve them. 

Pix is working at Pioneer Bakery again, and really enjoying it. We know that will end in September and are wondering what is next for her. There is a Christian "university" for people with intellectual disabilities in Branson called Barnabas Prep. We visited, because Maya thought about working there. It really was amazing. But, I am not ready for her to be gone full time. And, she isn't ready to be gone full time. Maybe in a few years... 

She is taking a chorus and dance class with special needs young adults and enjoys it. But, when it comes time for the recital you can see how very far ahead she is of the others. It makes me sad that there isn't something geared towards HER. She does have a friend there. It's actually a boy we did bike camp with all those years ago. His mom remembered Lexi and put the pieces together. She says Lexi is good for Nick because she makes him talk. Here they are after the Christmas performance:

Maya is home from camp for Christmas. It's been two weeks. And, like many families with returnees, it's been tough. She and Hali FIIIIIIGHT. And, I hate it. They are just mean. They try to hurt one another. And, since I'm the one in the middle, me. Maya loves working at camp and still wonders about being a flight attendant. She brought home our two cats (that I'm allergic to) because she can't keep them. So, we've go to find homes for them. Over all she is growing up and doing well! She still had huge reactions to things, but does listen after she's cooled down.

As we speak Hali is out walking off a strop. It's been a while...but it's only 7 p.m. and I'm going to let her. Hali, is stroppy, lol. She turned 18 and actually had friends over. HUGE. She is tough. And, she is cutting off her nose to spite her face over and over. Today it was when Carrie was showing her the costs of the two colleges she is accepted to so that we could make a plan to get her into the one she wants. Instead she said, "Fine. I'll just go to Trinity." We told her to think about it and explained...but she's adamant. She's also said I can just have her phone "forever" so that she can rail at me. 

The hard thing for me is...neither girl is who I would choose to spend time with. I am loving towards them. I think I've been kind and caring and taken good care of them. But, they aren't people I would choose to be friends with. I wouldn't choose to spend time with them. And, as they're now young adults, that it more what I see (and feel) than when they were young and seemed to need more. I keep trying! And, I keep "faking" it. I do all the things I do with Lexi (and more) with them. But...it's been 4 1/2 years of having guests in my home. They still feel like guests. I don't really trust Hali, emotionally. (I trust her with THINGS.) 

It's just the end of a hard day at the end of a hard week. 

Hali will come home. Maya will go back to camp. We'll all keep on, keeping on. 

I think I need a week off. 

OH! Another emotional hard for me is our wonderful kittens. I can't keep all four. And, the shelter is ready for them to come back. But...as I was lying there last night with them all snuggled around me and I thought about them being caged at night...I just can't do that. I just can't. I know they're just cats. But...they trust me. It was hard to let our foster dog go (did you know we fostered a dog?) knowing that she trusted me and, really, only me after her experience in the puppy mill. But her family loves her and I think she is doing well. But, the kittens... If I could just find a home for two of them. Or one of them and their mama... If they were going to a family, I'll feel better. 

Mama and all five kittens on a shelf in my office, lol.

foster dog, Mabel

Wishing you a happy, healthy, PEACEFUL new year. Thanks for sticking with us. LOVE!! -k

small world

 My Chinese student who lives in Germany 

asked Hali, a Ukrainian who lives in the US 

what this Korean candy is. 

officially met

 I would never characterize myself as an emotional shopper or emotional eater. 

But, yesterday I bought a new quilt for my bed, pet toys,  and Halloween hair things for Pix at TJ Maxx, and a stack of pumpkins, a dark chocolate sea salt caramel bar and a Coke at Five Below. I don't even remember the last time I had a Coke. 

So, maybe I'm an extreme-emotion shopper AND eater. 

I do feel better...though whether it was the chocolate or the photos, I'm not sure. It is nice to see Mom and Dad Hawkins looking so happy to be with the littles. And, the littles are hanging in there. Masha was moved to Ira and Tolik's orphanage and will remain there until the adoption is completed. 

 Look how tall Ira is! Look at her beautiful neck! Look how nice Masha's hair looks! Look at Tolike--looking healthy and uninjured. 

There were other photos of them playing Uno and doing sticker art that we sent to the Hawkins to bring with them. It made me feel so good to see a little, teeny, tiny bit of us with them.

(I am longing to do Ira's hair, lol. <3)